It's an endless question for parents about their children, isn't it? How much pressure and distortion can I, legitimately, use to teach them things,1 to buy a little space, and so on? Some, I suppose, but it must be an ever moving target as the kiddo grows, develops, and just gets better at seeing through our BS. We try to keep in mind that the kiddo must one day stride forth to meet the world with her own skills, opinions, and point of view. We'd like that to go pretty well, so the scaffolding must be dismantled and some kind of model of good-person-in-a-hard-world needs to be offered.
I'll just get right on that.2
But, wait! There's more! My wife and I are smack is the middle of the sandwich, so it's also applies to interactions with our elders. And the answer to that, too, will be an evolving thing. Right now it's just one set, but there is every reason to suspect the others will need support sooner or later. So that's a whole different take on the same kind of questions.
1 In my prior, professional life, it even had a name: "lies to children".
2I wonder who in their right mind would sign off on our being parents in the first place?
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